Have you ever seen somebody you cared of digging their own grave and you try to reach 'em but before you could get close they were allready too deep?

Have you've ever been hurt so much that you've trapped yourself in your room for days because you didn't have the strenght to have a normal conversation without crying?

Have you've ever been betrayed so much by you're own flesh and blood that you can't trust any one in your life?

No, so don't you fucking judge me before you've tried walking in my shoes for one day. I dare you to try being me for one fucking day. You would never make that day alive.

Sidder på kanten og kigger ned i dybet

tårene vælter frem

holder dem tilbage

du må ikke se mig sådan her

du SKAL ikke se mig sådan her

du sidder på den anden side og smiler

du fumler med et eller andet i dine hænder som jeg ikke kan se

Hvordan er vi endt sådan her?

Sometimes the memories are worth the pain.

If you really didn't wanted to hurt me then why did you lie?

You told me you cared. Apparently you didn't.

I really liked you. 

No ''like'' doesn't describe my feelings for you.

You were right, I do have deep feelings for you.

Why shouldn't I? When it began I tried to protect myself tried to keep my emotions locked.

But you kept telling me about how much you cared. 

Especially that night.

You where so drunk.

You told me a bunch of stuff that really meant a lot to me. 

Before we went to sleep, I feared that you wouldn't remember it. 

I was right the next day you had no clue about what happened. 

That hurt a lot. 

But we were great you'll had to admit that we had so much fun together. I felt like I could tell you everything. You helped me a lot. I told you a bunch of stuff that even my closest friends don't know. 

But fuck it. I'm probably better off without you. 

But.. I hate to admit it. But I miss you.

Why?

In one way everything is messed up right now.
All these voices, my head is exploding.. My mind is fucked.
These bad thoughts are haunting me again..
I just want to be with you right now.. Hold you, kiss you..
You make me feel like I'm normal, like it's normal to be as fucked up like I am.
But i barely know you.. You don't know me at all. You only now the one I'm pretending to be.
Happy, laughing, colour full, Smiling and always looking at things positive.
You don't now anything about these voices.
The Hate, paranoia and darkness that is hidden deep inside of me.